Sports & Congressional Priorities

Even when dealing with a subject as frivolous as sports, Congress shows that The Show is more important than the impact. Says The Sports Guy:

It's legitimately incredible that Congress wasted so much time on the moronic Roger Clemens hearings, and yet here's an issue that truly matters -- the ongoing problem of professional sports owners extorting taxpayers with the threat of relocation, with Seattle as the latest victim -- and Congress is nowhere to be seen. I just love the fact Roger Clemens' appearance at Jose Canseco's pool party takes precedence over 41 years of professional basketball in Seattle with the people who run our country. Awesome. I'm moving to Canada soon.

Red the Puppetmaster

I got to thinking about the KG to the Celtics deal, and realized that there must be more there than meets the eye.

McHale, as Bill Simmons has stated, is a Celtic forever.

My hypothesis? This is a long-term conspiracy, planned out by Red. McHale isn't a horrible GM, but instead was just doing his master's bidding.

The final piece of Red's diabolical plan has Larry Bird, the greatest player he ever coached, making a bunch of bad trades (see: last season's trade with the Warriors) until Jermaine O'Neal gets so angry he demands a trade. Bird will then send O'Neal to Boston for Perkins, an expiring contract (after Boston signs PJ Brown for $20M for two years before this season) draft picks and a big ol' trade exception after next season.

Starting 5 for the 2008-2009 Season:
Rondo, Jesus, Pierce, KG, O'Neal

I can just picture Red, smiling down from the Heavens, cigar in hand...

[Update: My friend e translated to Harry Potter terms: Red as Dumbledore and McHale as Snape. I guess that would make Danny Ainge Harry, and Bird... I don't know, maybe Mad Eye? Hagrid? For more on the ramifications of the KG trade, see TrueHoop's Handicapping the New East.]

[Update #2: The Bulls never had a chance for Garnett, who was either staying in Minnesota or going to Boston, because Timberwolves GM Kevin McHale played for the Celtics and wanted to hook up his good friend, Boston boss Danny Ainge. McHale could have gotten more for Garnett.]